Street Fighter X Tekken in 2012 Will Be the End of the Human Race

By on July 26, 2010

With the announcement that Street Fighter X Tekken will not be hitting our digital shores until 2012, Das Reviews is here to portend disaster.

The Mayan prediction of the end of the world (or some marketing idiot’s interpretation of the end of the Mayan calendar) has the year 2012 on the world’s mind. According to this ancient tribe of people, the world will end in disaster, either via sun flares ala Roland Emmerich or via electing a lipsticked pitbull in a power suit to the world’s most powerful political position.

But Das Reviews portends another cause: the marriage of the two biggest fighting franchises in the world in not one but two games. The mere presence of the games themselves will not be the cause but they will be the catalyst.

The makers are taking the Versus concept to an absurd level. Not only will fanboys fight over will game universe is better but they will fight over which company’s iteration of the game universes is better. It’s going to be Street Fighter vs Tekken VS Tekken vs Street Fighter, an acronym disaster just waiting to happen. The world’s Shift Keys can’t handle SFXTVTXSF.

The apocalypse will start when a Street Fighter fanboy argues that SFXT is a better game but upon realizing that he just including the word Tekken in a statement that looked favorably on it, a small vacuum will appear in his mind. This will compound as he tries to defend his statement. Unfortunately, he will not be the only one. If he were, the world would be able to fend off this disaster. But no, there will be others. Fanboys around the world will create mini vacuums in their minds from their contradictions and the effects will compound.

The collective vacuum will reach a threshold where it will start to affect weaker minds around them including but not limited to Twilight fans, rednecks and vegetarians. The vacuum will grow exponentially once it hits this threshold and a black hole will appear on Earth, sucking the world and all surrounding planetary bodies into an alternate dimension where all of the lost socks in history end up.

Someone has to stop them and I hear John Cusack is busy. Are you up for it?

Which is going to be your favorite? SFXT or TXSF? Hit your caps lock key and reply below!

About David Scarpitta

I am a critical guy, and love to review and give my professional opinion on just about anything. Though have a love for tech/gaming and music alongside the cinema. You can catch me consulting and developing the net any day of the week.