Doctors Warn of Gamer Transmitted Diseases (GTDs)

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Recently, research has discovered that playing too many video games may actually be harmful to your health.  The condition is called PlayStation palmar hidradenitis, as described in the British Journal of Dermatology, and may strike anyone of any age.  Symptoms of PPH include skin sores on the hands of the victim, that is often accompanied by a disproportionally large and muscular right forearm. Seven to ten percent of the population experience forearm largeness on the opposite hand.

Leading dermatologists attribute the sores to excessive sweating, constant rubbing of skin, overly-tight gripping of the controller, and repeated button mashing.  We, however, suspect something far more sinister: Gamer Transmitted Diseases.

What other activity that you know involves excessive sweating, constant rubbing of skin, tightly gripped implements, repeated “button” mashing and causes random sores. That’s right folks, your favorite video game controller is the new naughty region.

As such, the controller is a breeding ground for all sorts of cooties.  Imagine: Johnny from the other side of the tracks, who lacks video game morals and plays with alot of different people’s controllers, comes and plays with your Xbox 360 controller at your house.  Now he’s spread his cooties all over the controller, then hands it off to you for the next round.  All of sudden, you’ve played with every controller that Johnny from across the tracks has ever played with.  The cooties get all over your hands, and voila!  Hand sores.  Brings a whole new meaning to “The Clap,” doesn’t it?

There are some good practices that can help prevent the transmission of a GTD.
1. Abstinence.

2. Limit the number of gaming partners.

3. If you have a GTD, abstain from gaming during a breakout.

4. Use a condom.

Full Hand Condom

Gamer Condoms for NintendoDS Stylus and iPod Touch

Be safe, folks.  Game hard.