Konami to Make Seven Saw Games

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We just got an anonymous scary phone call from someone who knows someone at Konami. According to this little birdie, the Jigsaw killer will visit us a total of 7 times on our consoles. This is will correspond with the amount of Saw films released in theaters. The scary voice has this to say:

“After much deliberation, we decided that our fans wouldn’t appreciate the Saw video games unless we rehashed them over and over again just like the movies. So, we are taking the same elements from the first game, putting them in new packaging and releasing year after year even if the content remains the same. Our viewers have been very loyal with our movies so we want to reward them with our games. We hope to release them one year after another, like with the Saw movies, somewhat close to Halloween but not really because who buys games on Halloween? Ha ha. Children are out trick or treating, not buying the latest Saw game. Of course, we will have plenty of DLC come release. We want our fans to have the best game out there. Until the new Saw comes out. Plus, DLC is the future of gaming.”

When asked about including motion controlled gaming in the Saw entries, we received this response:

“After some focus group testing, we were worried at first that gamers wouldn’t be able to correctly strangle their attackers but the developers added in some very helpful tutorial videos that show people how to strangle other people. Ahem, in the game of course. That would be irresponsible. And motion control gaming is the future of gaming.”

3D gaming also seems to be in the front of the developer’s minds:

“We are very excited about the prospect of 3D gaming in our fan’s living rooms. We have done some in house tests of the 3D technology coupled together with our innovative “First Victim Perspective” and it played very well with our focus groups. It was very terrifying. People were screaming and crying and one lady even ran out of the room. It was a very successful test. Of course, we will have a censored mode for the young folk that will turn any blood green. 3D gaming is the future of gaming so we are very excited to include it in future Saw installments.”

Very exciting stuff indeed! Stay tuned to Das Reviews for more terrifying updates and check out the latest trailer for Saw 2 below!